Analytical Dissections of the Critically Malnourished

While walking to the bathroom to masturbate, my foot found an obstruction that was not the usual bottle cap or unwanted penny, so I took the time to pick it up and investigate. Candy, still in the wrapper. Not just candy, candy I have not tried before. Quite a find indeed. A white rabbit and foreign text covered the paper womb which held my prize, and as I've never consumed rabbit meat, much less rabbit flavored candy, I was curious as to its flavor. Upon peeling back the waxed paper, a second piece of paper was introduced wrapped directly around the creamy nugget. I did my best to peel it off, but it stuck to its host with persistence. Determined not to be beat, I consumed both with extreme prejudice. Mixed emotions followed, as it was a fine candy but tasted more like creamy goodness than rabbity goodness. So my verdict is such that if I stepped on another piece when I was about to masturbate I would most likely eat it, but I wouldn't go too far out of my way for it.

Piece of Candy I Stepped on While on My Way to the Bathroom to Masturbate Final Grade: C-

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