Analytical Dissections of the Critically Malnourished

This Week's Review: Tr'm DuÙt MuÙh Pickled Gooseberry

This is one of few things I review that is exactly as bad as it sounds. I found these in an asian market towards the industrial part of town, and for some reason felt inclined to buy them. I had foodstamps at the time, so it seemed like a painless purchase. Until I ate some of course. The consistency is similar to that of a firm cherry, and like a cherry, they have a pit. A fucking pit. That was a surprise. The taste is kind of hard to describe, but they certainly don't remind a person of food. If the smell of a gas station mens room was solidfied with some sort of salt resin, this would be the result. Oh, and dyed yellow of course. They really resemble amphibian eggs more than food. They would seem more at home in a pond or swamp than bottled and marketed as food. The ingredients include only gooseberries, water, salt, and sodium metabisulfite. Though I am almost completely unfamiliar with the latter, I'm guesssing that it's most of what you're tasting. Despite the bottomless well of flaws contained within the 16 ounce bottle, I do like the packaging and the term "pickled gooseberries," so I'm going to be generous with this weeks grade. Or last weeks. This review is a week late. Whatever. It was worth it. Or it wasn't. Like I can tell.

Pickled Gooseberries Final Grade: D+

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