Analytical Dissections of the Critically Malnourished

This week's review: Durian Ice Cream

Someone told me this was weird and that I should try it. I was thinking, "Well, I've eaten dead people and drank gasoline before, so I'm sure it will be perfectly average by comparison." How wrong I was. I did some research on google, and apparently durian is some fruit from the Far East that stinks so much it is actually illegal in some public places simply because people find it's presence offensive, much like second hand smoke. I had one bite of this ice cream, which is difficult to get I might add, and it ruined my burps for hours. Seriously, it tasted like burned hair. I would eat it again but only out of spite for myself. It's probably still in the freezer. Nobody's going to eat it. We'd have to replace the sink if we washed it down the drain. As offensive as this ice cream is, at least it just sits there, not like a person or an earwig or a lame movie that everybody thinks is cool, so I'll be generous with it's grade soley on account of it's immobility and lack of hype or appreciation. At least I didn't pay for it. Whatever.

Durian Ice Cream Final Grade: C-

A shitty bar everybody likes that they made a bad movie out of

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