Analytical Dissections of the Critically Malnourished
This week's review: A shitty bar everybody likes that they made a bad movie out of
That's right, Coyote Ugly. I had the misfortune of stumbling in there recently. I've never seen the movie and I never will because I know it blows. Pretty much the idea behind the bar is that you can't get a drink because there's too many assholes between you and the bar, which is covered in unattractive women that can't dance. But they still try, and if there were two things I hated in this world, those things would be dancing and trying. So it's basically a theme bar where the theme is pissing me off. I stayed there for almost a song, and I can't remember what song it was but I'm sure it was shitty. The bartenders were mostly pork-hardable, but they encouraged all these totally not pork-hardable people from the audience to shake goods they didn't have in a place that should be giving me free whisky just for gracing them with my presence. I thought about taking a picture, but I'm actually entertaining thoughts of having my film developed so it seemed like an awful idea.
A shitty bar everybody likes that they made a bad movie out of Final Grade: F
Not Sure
A Hot Pregnant Lady I Saw at Albertson's a While Ago
Piece of Candy I Stepped On While On my Way to The Bathroom to Masturbate
Mr. Meowmers
Some Wedding I Didn't Go To
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Colgate Toothpaste Tube
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Mold Next to my Sink