Ok, so I had the misfortune of watching network television earlier today, and all the nothingness I was subjected to got me thinking about a new ad campaign. It would be like most public service announcements concerning drugs or seatbelts or something, only it would be blown way out of proportion to encourage paranoia in a nation that's already infested with security cameras, police, bicycle helmets and other products of fear. The commercials would be a few meaningless seconds brought to you by a none profit organization called National Awareness of Domestic Safety, or N.A.D.S. The first commercial brought to us by N.A.D.S. would start with an old lady typing at a computer in her house by herself. She would be typing slow and her inner monologue would be saying something like, "I am glad to hear Jaime won her soccer game and I look forward to seeing her on her 8th birthday...blah blah blah." As the voice recites this mindless old woman banter, the door behind her quietly opens and a guy with a ski mask sneaks in all sly like, because we all know you can ONLY perform acts of brutality or violence while concealing your identity with a common place yet menacing mask. He walks up behind her while she's smiling and tapping at the keyboard, then he pistol whips her REALLY hard and she goes limp. He turns around and leaves the same way without even stealing anything. It cuts to black and says, "WATCH YOUR BACK." Then fades and says, "Brought to you by N.A.D.S."